Five on Friday

These are the 5 things I'm loving this week. My highlights are:

1) Reorganizing E's room.

I've been trying to make E's room more cozy ever since we moved in and on Sunday I decided it would be a good idea to move her bed so we bought a 2 sided rail so the bed didn't have to be against the wall anymore. Then on Monday, while E was at school I moved her dresser and organized her toys and books and she came home to a really nice space.  Lots of room to play with her toys now. She loves it!

2) Field Trip

On Wednesday E went on her first school field trip.  I volunteered and honestly wasn't really very impressed with the maple sugar bush that we went to but E couldn't stop talking about riding on the school bus for the first time and getting to play at the playground there.  So I'm glad we went. 

3) Kids First Day

Kids First Day is an event held in our city where kids get to go to a bunch of local attractions or activities that are free or low cost for the day. We are not even a quarter as motivated as some people so we only got to one of the many locations we could have checked out today but E enjoyed going to the library, making a mosaic picture and watching about 5 minutes of Mary Poppins before she decided we should leave.

4) Play date

Had a great time hanging out this afternoon with some family. It's so nice for E to have cousins her age. Us moms chatted while the kids played. Have to do that more often!

5) Start of March Break

Today marked the first day of March break.  E goes back to school on the 17th. I'm looking forward to doing some fun stuff with her this week. Now to figure out what. . . :)

This post inspired by:

Punched

Throughout my life I haven't really been a person who likes a lot of conflict and for the most part I've been able to avoid it so when I thought of being punched I was having a hard time finding examples to go on.

In terms of actual incidents I can really only think of one.  It was back when I was in grade 10.

In grade 9 I became friends with a group of about 6 girls who I'd met during grade 9 orientation when we'd almost immediately hit it off.  Having not had very many friends in elementary school I was thrilled to be beginning my high school "career" with a feeling of belonging.  We had lunch together every day and goofed around, enjoying our time together.  I felt important.  I enjoyed their company and they enjoyed mine.

And then I entered grade 10.  For some reason some people just don't like me or feel threatened by me or something.  I'm generally actually a shy person and I wouldn't consider myself particularly cool and I was never really popular, but perhaps these girls were.  I'm not sure.  At any rate one day this girl "S" joined our group.  I came to our hall at lunch and she was sitting there with everyone else.  She immediately told me to go away.  My friends, who I'd hung out with for a year at that point, said "no, stay!"  She glared at me but I stayed.

The next day I received more glares and you could tell, for whatever reason, that she didn't want me there.

On the way to class in the afternoon her and another girl, found me in a stairwell and pushed me up against a wall.  S told me to smoke a cigarette right there if I wanted to stay in the group.  She tried to put it in my mouth and light it, I spat it out.  I managed to slide away from the wall and as she held the loop on the back of my back pack I struggled, legs treading in the air until I fell to the ground and she threw my backpack at me.  I leapt to my feet eager to get away.  She yelled behind me "If you're at your locker after school you're gonna get it!"

Of course this was right before my last class of the day and I had no choice but to go to my locker after school.  I hoped she wouldn't be there.

I remember leaving my last class, heart thumping in my chest, walking down the hall passing the blue, red and grey walls towards my locker and praying inside that she wouldn't be there.  "Please God let her not be there.  Please!" There was a lump in my throat as I neared and saw her standing beside my locker.  "I told you not to come" she said.  She looked harmless enough, blond hair, freckles and glasses but there was a sort of power and hatred flashing through her eyes.

I started to unlock my locker and she shoved me.  I persisted, ignoring she was there.  It cracked open and she opened it fully, shoving me into it and punching her fists at my chest and kicking at my legs but I pushed back.  I got out of the locker.  I gathered my things.  I turned toward the large crowd of other students and headed towards my bus trying to ignore her.  She shoved me with all her might and I lost my balance but managed to regain my footing and continued on my way.  She came after me shouting "Run away you wuss!"

Once I'd gotten through the double doors towards the school cafeteria I'd lost her.  Tears stung my cheeks as I headed to my bus to go home.

I didn't understand what we were fighting for. For the right to be friends with these people, my friends? Couldn't we share? How could she hate someone so much that she'd never even met?  Was she jealous of me, of a person she thought I was?

In the end, with a set of new classes in second semester, I ended up on a new lunch later that school year and made a new group of friends.  In time I drifted apart from that original group of girls.  Ironically, after all the work she'd put into protecting her spot in that group, they also drifted apart from S.  So I wonder, was hurting me really worth it?

This blog post idea came from a writing prompt from:

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 27

A problem you have or have had in the past.

When I was in college I used to get invited out all of the time. I had plans almost every weekend.  I rarely ever had down time for myself and I really enjoyed being that social, outgoing person.

However, the older I've gotten the less invites I've received.  Part of this I think has to do with my Celiac diagnosis and my peanut allergy.  I became a hassle to hang out with.  People don't want to accommodate my dietary needs (ie a place without peanut shells on the floor with preferably at least one dish I can eat).  For a while they said "why don't you just get a drink?" and then would get peeved when I said I would like to have the option to eat something as well and not just watch everyone else eat so if they want to go to that restaurant than it's okay, I'll just go home.

I've also found recently that a few of my so called "friends" only ever contact me if they're upset about something.  Then they say "we should get together" but never call me again until something crappy happens in their life and then repeat the same spiel.  Funny thing is when I call them because I'm upset they're always "busy".

Yes, my college days were stupid but they were a lot of fun and although I'm fairly finished with bar hopping at this point in my life, I sometimes still miss the excitement of getting ready to go out and hanging out with friends and dancing and partying and ordering Pita Pit at 2am.

So. . .my problem is this:  I have a hard time making new friends and I have a hard time having close relationships with my existing ones.  Most of the problem probably lies in the fact that my very closest friends don't live in town and the other ones that I used to be closer to that do live here have gone on with their lives and I with mine.  We've gone down different paths. . .and I'm not quite sure what road I fit on yet.

So. . .now how do I solve this problem?

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 17

On day 17 of the 30 Day Blog Challenge the topic is "Your Highs and Lows of the Past Year".  I thought about this topic for most of the day because I really wasn't sure what I wanted to write but here goes:

The Lows:

1) Money - We've incurred a bit of debt, and we've struggled since we moved to Barrie in early 2009.  The move cost us a lot of money and the lack of work when we moved up there cost us more.  It was unfortunate how things worked out there and we're still not back on our feet but I couldn't have picked a better medical team than the ones we had when I was pregnant so I believe that's why God sent us up there.

2) Changes in relationships with friends - I've changed as a person since our daughter was born.  I don't feel like I have a lot to contribute to conversation any more with some of my old friends and I can feel us going our separate ways.  I think once our married friends start having children things might even out a little more again.

3) Health - My health hasn't been the greatest since 2008.  I still wear out easily and I'm discovering more and more allergies and intolerances.  It can be frustrating at times.

The Highs:

1) Moving into a new apartment - We moved into a new apartment at the beginning of this year and it's great!  We have friendly neighbors who we actually talk to and who don't slam doors in your face, we don't come home to pot smoke smell so strong you can taste it in your living room while you're cooking your own food, we have a pool and a great backyard in the back for our daughter to run around in!  Not to mention. . .carpeting!!  After having school style tile for a year carpeting was complete luxury.  I love waking up in the morning and stepping onto a fluffy floor. :)

2) Health - Yes, it's been a rough year for health but I am gradually getting better!  It's a really slow recovery and some days are better than others but I'm very very slowly putting on weight and getting more energy. :)

3) Our daughter - Though she's trying at times she's a lot of fun to play with and it's amazing to see how she looks at the world.  Everything is "oh wow" lately.  She clearly appreciates God's creation. :)

4) Cable - I really in truly appreciate Treehouse tv.  It has kept me sane at least a few times. lol.

5) Friendship - I've become closer to some of my old friends and developed some new friendships.

So, I guess that's it. :) I've been trying lately to focus more on the positive so I decided to end with the highs. :)