Thursday, November 7, 2013

The problem with these "godly wife" posts

An blog post was recently posted on my facebook newsfeed and it particularly bothered me. It was full of questions encouraging women on how to be "godly wives".  (

These are some examples of the questions:

Does my demeanor tend to be “loud and defiant,” or do I communicate a meek, quiet, and submissive spirit?
Am I meeting my husband’s sexual needs?
Do I frequently express admiration and gratitude to my husband?

These types of posts particularly rub me the wrong way.  I definitely don't want to be meek or quiet.  In the past those particular qualities have gotten me into bad situations.  Encouraging women to be meek, quiet and submissive can lead to ABUSIVE relationships.

The second question should ask if we are both satisfied sexually, if we have mutual trust and understanding and enjoy each other's company.  The way it's written is one sided something like, since one of my few purposes as a wife is to serve my husband sexually, is he satisfied?.  .Again, abuse.

There is so much fear and tiptoeing in this blog post.  So much if I do this then I'll be okay.  I just need to be a better wife, a better mother, a better partner.  You could even go as far as, if this got in the wrong hands, I just need to be a more godly wife so he'll love me.

I make no apologies for who I am these days.  
As Katy Perry puts it. . .
I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sat quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice
I let you push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything
You held me down, but I got up
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar

I'm happily married to a caring, wonderful man who I speak my mind to, laugh with and grow with. We've been married for just over 5 years.  Listen to your heart and be yourself, don't let anyone walk all over you or treat you in ways that you don't deserve.  Even if you're not the most "godly wife" out there you don't deserve to be treated poorly.  Just my two cents.

No comments:

Post a Comment