Do You Smell That?

Patricia and I met when I had a two bedroom apartment and needed a room mate and she had a 1 bedroom apartment and was looking for the same.  Our building manager introduced us.  We were both in our early 20s and working full time. We shared the two bedroom apartment. She worked a night shift and I worked a day shift and luckily we got along relatively well so on occasion shared dinner as we didn't have a whole lot of money and Patricia unfortunately wasn't the best cook. It wasn't unusual for her to set off the smoke alarm while making dinner. However, on this particular night neither of us were expecting it as she had planned to make Kraft Macaroni and Cheese from a box. How could you light the kitchen on fire cooking that? . . .Apparently we were going to find out. .

"Patricia, do you smell that?" I was stretched out on our threadbare, nearly beige, white couch flipping through a magazine. "Smell what?" She said.

"It smells like something's burning."

"I don't know, I don't smell anything?"

"Are you cooking something?"

"I just put a pot on the burner to heat up some water. I'm making macaroni and cheese. You want some?"

"No, I'm good Thanks."

I continued flipping through the magazine. The smell was starting to get worse.

"It smells almost like chemicals or something. . .burnt. . ."

Patricia walked over to the stove.

"SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!"

*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP* The smoke alarm suddenly broke the silence. I jumped up from my chair and dashed over, turning on the exhaust fan. We were coughing, smoke rising all around us.

"I turned on the wrong burner." She said.

I looked over to see my Betty crocker cookbook sitting in the sink, the spine completely melted, a brown burner shaped mark across it's front and back.

"I'll buy you a new one. I'm sorry."

"I thought you were making mac and cheese?"

"I was. . .was thinking I might make dessert too."

We laughed. 

"Don't worry about it. . .I don't really use it anyway. I thought the kitchen was on fire."

"Yeah, it almost was!" We giggled.

Patricia and I eventually went our separate ways and lost touch but I still have the Betty Crocker cookbook with the melted spine and brown burner mark to remember that day and many similar ones though that was the last time she ever burnt a non-food item in our place.

This post was inspired by the writer's prompt, "Tell the Story of a Mistake made in the Kitchen."

. . .And we said Good Bye

On the first day we met her she didn't come with much.  A small diaper bag, a soother stuffed in her mouth, a bottle and a scruffy blanket.  We were leaving to go camping in two days and life had happened and so she was sent to us.  We weren't really sure what to expect but soon we were introduced to a whirlwind of joy that hit the floor running.  We found ourselves at Walmart at 10pm buying clothes for a child we'd just met.  She wasn't our biggest fan then. She didn't like shopping carts, she didn't know us, and things were a little crazy. . .after all we were going camping in two days and she didn't really have any clothes to wear.

She was only a toddler and she was a busy one at that and that camping trip was one of the most memorable, and least organized ones I have ever been on in my life but the kids had fun! Bubbles were blown, rocks discovered, there was swimming and precious hand clapping, and dancing from a new little child shaking her tiny bum back and forth and circling in dizzy circles in a camp church hall. She just couldn't stay away from the music!

Yes, that weekend was crazy.  A weekend stay turned into a week and we settled into routine, a week into a month and a month into nearly six.  It's crazy how time flies!

There was joy and, of course, there were challenges.  Sisterly fights, temper tantrums, bad dreams, bumps and bruises and illness.

She felt as much my child as our own even though unlike our daughter she rarely wanted to be hugged, though every night before bed we offered and almost every night she hid under her blanket and said "no".

So that day, as I stood in our hallway and helped gather her bags and told her I loved her and that she was going to go home, this time for good, I watched, to my surprise, as her arms wrapped around me in the tightest hug, head on my shoulder, warmth of her body encompassing my body and she held me there tightly as if she truly understood, until it was time to leave.

Her worker came back then and I handed her over and she smiled and waved and said "Bye Mommy and Daddy."

Those words melted my heart and I fought back tears as I watched the door close.

Good bye little one!

Good luck!

We'll miss you!

We hope you have a wonderful life with your family with many many happy memories!

Top 12 Photos of 2014

Top 12 Photos of 2014

Unfortunately due to circumstances beyond my control, there are some photos this year that I haven't been able to share because of who is in them. So perhaps these aren't my absolute favourite photos of 2014 but they are my favourites of the ones I can share.  Here they are in no particular order.

This is the first time we tried making home made, gluten free banana bread. I chose this photo because it makes me feel happy.  Hubby said it tasted just like the real thing and E kept asking for more.  Unfortunately I couldn't try it because I'm allergic to bananas but I still felt the love. :)

This is Scamper.  Scamper is 11 years old (12 in February).  I found him at a no-kill shelter when he was 2 years old and brought him home.  We've been through a lot together.  He's my cat buddy even though he can be fairly grumpy at times these days.  I love this photo because he's so content, and also looks like he's posing for it - which who knows, he may have been. :) We didn't buy the chair for him but it has been claimed as his and since then we've encouraged that.

I know what you're thinking, more baking. . .haha. I just can't help it.  I was so proud of myself after making these.  I used a family recipe and made them just replacing the flour with a gluten free alternative.  Doing that always has it's risks but I was so happy with how they turned out! Makes me smile looking at the photo.

This was taken in March 2014.  E had been asking to build a snow man for a while but the weather had been so cold.  This time we had just enough snow.  She was so proud of her snowman.  The picture makes me chuckle. :)

I had a hard time choosing just one Great Wolf Lodge photo because we had such a good time there.  I had narrowed it down to this photo or one of E on a water slide.  Both are great photos because they are both firsts for E and really show how she's grown over the past year but in the end I picked this one.  Although you don't see it in this photo hubby is standing off to the side teaching her how to bowl and afterwards E high fives everyone and continues to encourage us as we bowl.  This photo gives me proud mommy feelings and happy memories.

This photo was also taken in Niagara Falls while on the Great Wolf Lodge trip.  We went to an indoor garden and E enjoyed exploring it.  I like this photo because of the colours.  It just looks really pretty.

E giving a paramedic bear a high five. I love this photo because it's adorable.  E loves fire fighters, paramedics and police men and their vehicles.. .especially their vehicles. :)

Look a tomato! I love this photo because it's the first tomato from our tomato plant this summer.  It's the first time I've kept a plant alive long enough for it to actually make edible food.  I was pretty excited!

E relaxing in the grass by our building enjoying the weather in July.  I just love the carefree nature of this photo.

I thought this photo was awesome. E had just come from dance class so her hair was up in a bun but light wisps of it were escaping because of the wind.  We went to the Airport for a special event and she got sit in this plane for this photo.  She announced that she wanted to be a pilot after that so now she wants to be a ballerina, firefighter and pilot.  I love how she dreams. :)

The first time E had ever had poutine.  E has Celiac disease and we were really excited to find out that McDonald's Canada was offering a poutine with gluten free gravy. 

Perhaps a bit of a cheat since this isn't a photo that I personally took, it was taken back stage at E's dance recital while we were of course sitting out front but it's my absolute favourite photo of 2014.  E is the one in the photo with the arm around her back.  This is her and her dance class mates waiting to go on stage. I love her perfect little bun and the tutu. She was lovely and performed beautifully that day.  We were so proud of her!

Top 12 of 2014

These are the posts that were most popular with my readers in 2014. They were chosen based on the number of page views they received.  I thought I'd give you a chance to read them (or re-read them). I hope you enjoy them!

Here they are:

12) Cinnamon Buns

11) Product Review: Compliments Gluten-Free Cookie Mix

10) The One That Got Away

9) A Trouble Maker

8) A childhood toy you once loved

7) Stomp Stomp, Clap Clap, Howl

6) Things I’ve Learned from Being a Mom

5) Her First Poutine

4) Punched

3) Pinterest - I finally got around to doing something I pinned

2) Travelling

And my number one blog post of 2014. . .

1) Fired

A New Year and looking Towards the Future

New Years Eve started with a picnic style dinner of chicken fingers, pasta salad, and sliced raw vegetables.

After dinner the kid's party started.  At their request, we put on some kid's dance videos from YouTube and they danced around the living room to such hits as "Head and Shoulders Knees and Toes" and "Whip my Hair".

After about half an hour of dancing excitedly, they were tired and ready to curl up on the couch for a movie.  E choose Leapfrog: Adventures in Shapeville Park.

It's a cute little movie.  Scout is the dog from E's Leap Pad toy and I'd have to admit he's fairly cute as cartoon dogs go.

In this particular video Scout and his friends, other various cartoon animals, learn about shapes and measuring and build a playground with the help of some "measuring" mice.

After the movie it was 8:30pm.  We had told E that she could stay up until 9:00pm but it was clear that she was tired as she actually requested to do the countdown early so she could go to bed.

Luckily for us Netflix came through again with their countdown to "midnight" with King Julien.  E really enjoyed it.  We all had a small glass of gingerale to toast with and afterwards tucked her into bed with a story and the excitement of knowing that when she woke up it would be a new year.


With the kids in bed hubby and I were free to do our own thing.  We chose to watch a movie on Netflix as well.  The movie was entitled "Midnight in Paris".  I was hoping to find a romantic comedy and I wasn't sure about this particular movie but it was interesting.

In Midnight in Paris, a writer and his fiancee go to Paris for a vacation and he finds himself mysteriously going back to the 1920s every day at midnight. The idea of time travel is something that has always really intrigued me and the time periods shown in the movie intrigued me as well.  I'm a bit of a romantic and would have loved to so easily visited those times and returned to the comforts of home as well.  Overall it was a good movie though I'm not sure I would watch it again as it was a bit slow at times but the concept was good.

We interrupted our movie about 3/4 of the way though to watch the Ball drop in New York online, had some wine and a kiss, wished a few people "Happy New Year!" and went back to watching the end.

It wasn't as eventful as New Year's Eves that hubby and I have celebrated together in the past but it was peaceful and relaxing and we had a good time together.

So to answer the questions,  "If the way you spent your New Year’s Eve is any indication of how the rest of the year will go, how would you say your future is looking right about now?" I think the future looks good.  Overall it was a happy evening shared with family with lots of laughs and love.

My Word of the Year. . Envision

:to think of (something that you believe might exist or happen in the future) : to picture (something) in your mind.

My word of the year for 2015 is Envision.

This is the first time I've ever chosen a word of the year and I had a hard time figuring out which word to choose.  I wanted a word that would encourage me as we continue to push forward, and to help me stay strong.  Sometimes when you're waiting for something to happen you can feel kind of stuck, like you're just treading water rather than swimming to the next place, where you actually want to be.

I've put a lot of thought into choosing my word.  To begin with I was going to choose the word "possible" because for 2015 I want to focus on what is possible some day, hopefully in the near future: ie buying a house, adopting a second child, etc.  I'm sure there are lots of possibilities out there for me to discover.

However, in the long run I decided that "possible" isn't really something I'm in control of.  It doesn't come from me it happens to me.  Like they say "Anything is possible" but I feel a need to take a grasp on the possibilities, and gain more control and so I'll Envision it: I'll dream about it and if there are steps I can take I'll take them and if not I'll try to focus on the present and enjoy what life throws at me.

Another Year. . .More Resolutions

So last year about this time I made a blog post about my New Year's resolutions for 2014.  So now's the time to review them and see how I did. . .

My first resolution was to make more time for me. .

With all the appointments children have needed to get to, field trips to go on, and my husband's work I've honestly probably had less time for me in 2014 than I had in 2013 but it wasn't without trying. Sometimes stuff just doesn't work out.  It continues to be a goal I'll have for 2015!

Secondly, I planned to get more exercise. . .

Well, I intended to do yoga, and maybe take a dance class.  Throughout the year I did occasionally do yoga but I never really consistantly stuck with it.  I'm also not sitting around being lazy all day either though.  I have been chasing a toddler around the house since July and walking a 5 year old to school and back since September.  So I guess it's not planned exercise but it's not not exercising either.

As for dance classes, unfortunately my husband and I decided that dance classes weren't going to work out for this year, but maybe another time.

Have date nights with my husband. . .

I suggested a ball room dance class but there were no takers. lol. Two birds with one stone right? Haha.  Honestly though we do spend a lot of time together just not out of the house right now. We chit chat as we do our own thing.  In 2015 I hope to actually get out to the occasional restaurant though too.  I actually have a couple restaurant names jotted down now. 

Have more family time without tv, computers and iphones. . .

We actually managed it this summer when we went tent camping.  Two days without tv, computers or iphones.  .though my husband didn't have a choice as the battery died on his phone.  He had to leave it in the car to charge. Haha. We had fun!

Save money. . .

This is one thing we can definitely be proud of.  We've saved a lot of money this year.  We continue to save because we haven't met our goal yet but we're actually getting somewhere now! :)

Get rid of stuff, organize, etc.

This continues to be something I'm working on.  With Christmas having just passed we have more toys to find homes for, and I still have to organize our storage room so that you don't have to empty it to find what you need. :) Another thing to work on this year! At least I have a plan now.

Improve my appearance. 
I'm working on this one.  I recently got a hair cut, and purchased some new clothes which is something I haven't done in a while because I never outgrow my old ones. 

So, goals for 2015. . .Continue to work on making more time for me, go out for at least a couple restaurant dates with my husband where I put the effort into looking nice like I used to when we were dating, continue to save money (we're trying to buy a house), organize what we have and purge what we don't need!

Let's see how this goes. :)

10 Years Ago. . .This is me

This is me in February of 2005.  I would have been 22 at the time.  Physically I haven't really changed that much over the years.  I have a few more wrinkles and some grey hairs but overall photos of me don't look that different.

This photo brings back strong memories, memories that at times I'd perhaps like to forget.

It was taken by my boyfriend at the time.  I was "dropping by" to see him at work.  He worked security at a dealership at the time and this is a picture of me in the security car with him.

I look happy, but I wasn't really.

I probably was at that very moment but sometimes pictures don't tell the whole story, just pieces and long story short, he wasn't a very nice person.

Luckily, things change.  I left him in early 2006 and found my own way.  I think the only good thing that came out of the relationship was that I got my ears pierced. The one time being yelled at and called names and then being tricked into doing something led to something I had actually wanted to do for a long time.

I had to basically hit the bottom to get back to the top.  You could think of it as falling down an old, abandoned, dark well. You aren't expecting it because you didn't see the well in the beginning because the well was boarded up and covered in beautiful thick grass but now you're trapped and cold, scared and probably a bit sad.

To begin with I was happy, he was wonderful and I was shown off as his princess.  Other girls were jealous of me and people would tell me how lucky I was to have him.  I wanted it to work and he seemed great. . .until he wasn't, but I didn't blame him.  By then "I" was the problem.  Clearly I needed to develop a sense of humour/ try harder/ dress differently or stop talking to those people (my friends) and everything would be fine.

Eventually I'd lost every part of who "I" was. I was depressed. Night after night I cried myself to sleep worrying about what I'd done to displease him, begging him "please please don't leave me", promising to try harder.

Luckily there was light in the darkness.  I decided that my relationship wasn't the problem in my life but that I must be unhappy because I had a college diploma but was working at a Subway.  So I moved back in with my parents to look for a "real job".

Our original plan was that I would move down, find work, then rent us an apartment and he'd join me.  It became clear though eventually that that was never his plan.  He expected me to fail but I didn't. First, I found work and then I re-established connections with old high school friends.  Soon I was out with the girls, going out for drinks after work with friends, etc.  My confidence was coming back and his increasingly angry, jealous phone calls were showing me who he really was.  Except this time I didn't blame myself for his actions.

In February 2006 I dumped him and in November 2006, after a few months of being free to be me again, I met my now husband.  We dated from November 11, 2006 to November 11, 2007 before he pooped the question. We were married on May 3, 2008.

Luckily he's nothing like the guy who took that first picture.

So who is the woman in the second photo?  Well, I've changed a lot.  Now that I'm 32, I'm not the timid mouse I used to be in 2005.  Instead of pretending to have confidence I actually do have a lot more than I did, though I'm sure we could all use a bit more some days. I have an opinion about a lot of things and I generally only share those opinions with my husband unless asked as by nature I'm a peacemaker. I follow my heart, and at times I am sometimes probably too caring,  I'm a mom and I'm currently a foster parent and sometimes I'm even a blogger. . .sometimes. 

Hoping that this coming year I'll actually get around to sharing more here than last. . .

A "Trouble Maker"

5.) A blog post inspired by the word: glistening

When I was twelve I volunteered to help out for a week at a church day camp. I was put in the role of teacher's assistant and during that week created some memories that I never forgot.

It was a Tuesday morning and the campers were headed inside. She was there sitting beside the jungle gym. She was probably six or seven. Her big round eyes looked down at me, tears sliding down her cheeks, glistening as the light caught them.

She was a "trouble maker", the leader said. "Good luck with her. You'll probably just have to stay outside with her until her mom comes this afternoon" and with that she went inside. I could see from the girl's face that something was wrong and that she was hurting inside.

I was only a child myself but I wanted to help, even if I didn't know the right thing to say.

"Don't leave me" she said and I stared back at her "I'll stay".

She looked me over as I sat on the cement stairs leading up to the playground.  She'd climbed up now and she was perched on the top, her legs dangling through blue bars.

"Aren't you going to leave? They all left!" she challenged. I answered back, "I'm not going anywhere."

We sat staring at each other for a long while and then suddenly after a while she crawled down and sat down beside me, gradually getting closer until I was shocked to find her head on my shoulder, sobbing now, I held her as she cried, a cloud of anger had lifted, and the storm was over. We sat there for a while. She talked, I mostly listened. I really can't remember what about but I must have said something that made her feel better.

"If I go inside will you stay with me?" She asked. "Of course" I answered and with that a tentative smile graced her face, she wiped her tears and we went in together.

Summer Bucket List

2.) 10 Things you hope to accomplish this summer.

1) Survive tent camping with a four year old.
Last year we rented a trailer for camping as I wasn't sure we were ready to camp without a washroom in the same building, a night light, and a microwave, among other things. I'm still not sure we're ready but we've purchased a family sized tent and booked a site. We're going for two nights. I'm feeling a bit nervous. Hubby and I haven't been tent camping since 2008. However, E is getting more excited by the day so hopefully it will be a lot of fun.

2) Make time to read more books.
Last year I took the Random House book Bingo challenge and by this time last year I had read close to 14 books. This year I've read five! I'm feeling kind of embarrassed about that. Maybe I'll have time to read while camping.

3) Take E to the Beach.
We went to a small, muddy beach last year at the camp ground we were staying at and built a sand castle and she loved it but I'd really love to take E to a nice sandy beach similar to Wasaga, Sauble or Grand Bend.

4) Date Night
Drive in movies, frozen yogurt, outdoor patios, etc. Hoping for some summery dates with hubby!

5) Check out Double Decker Iced Cream
There's this cool ice cream parlour that's inside an old double decker bus. This year they're offering gluten free cones so it seems like the perfect time to check it out!

6) Freezer Cooking.

The more I can precook, the more time I'll hopefully have for doing fun summer activities with E (and hubby when he's on vacation). It should also cut back on fast food consumption and give hubby something more interesting and appetizing to take to work for lunch. 

7) Write a Children's Book

E is always asking me to tell her a story and I'll make one up on the spot and then she'll ask me to repeat it and I won't remember what I said. So I should probably record myself sometime and then actually write it down.

8) Get a hair cut.

I've been talking about doing it for months but haven't gotten around to it. E actually told me I'm "not allowed" to cut my hair but I have a love hate relationship with it. Some days I love how it looks but others I find it just gets in the way and putting my hair in a pony tail doesn't really put it up any more.  I think I should probably get at least a few inches cut off. 

9) Be more creative in the kitchen.

I used to be more creative and make, in my opinion, more edible food and then E was born. She loves bland and tasteless food and if I use spices she says it's yucky. Tough crowd. Then there's hubby who basically disgusts and upsets me by covering subtle, delicate flavours with mass amounts of hot sauce, often before tasting them. So I've given up for the most part and succumbed to microwaving frozen vegetables and basically creating cafeteria style meals. So this summer I hope to find a way to make something that satisfies everyone. (. . .and perhaps hide the hot sauce. ;))

10) Remember the past.

It's not really a bucket list item I guess, as it happens most days, but family vacations set kind of a higher bar I guess. I love sharing stories with E about camping trips, vacations, etc and teaching her through my own experiences and creating new special memories and I hope her experiences are as good or better than my own. I'm hoping to create some great memories this summer. :)

Bringing Back Childhood Memories

I don't know what made E ask about this the other day but out of the blue she came to me and said, "Mama, can I try Sparks?"

Sparks is not something I did as a child, I'm not actually sure it even existed at the time but I definitely have memories of Brownies, Girl Guides and Pathfinders.

So, next thing you know I'm googling. . "Girl Guides of Canada. Here we go", I say. "Oh wow, they've really changed the uniforms!" E asks me what my uniform looked like. I recall a brown dress, tights, a purse for dues - 25 cents every week, a neck tie, a sash with badges. . .E interrupts my reminiscing, "What's a sash?", I tell her. "How do you get badges? Can you buy them?" I chuckle, "You have to earn them." and I explain how.

Me flying up to Guides

Suddenly I find myself telling stories of camping trips, of getting caught in the rain but despite of it having an awesome time; of hiking through the woods, eating outside, crafts on picnic tables, games of capture the flag; the glow of the camp fire in the black of the night, happy faces singing songs, marshmallows, friends, and earning my wings as I flew up to Guides.

As I finish, I feel a bit like I've made a sales pitch. "So can I?" she says. I think I might have gotten carried away. I bite my lip a bit. "I'll have to talk it over with Daddy."

. . .Meanwhile I'm googling to find out which Unit is closest to our house, and debating to myself how a Celiac child would feel about selling cookies she couldn't eat. . .

This post was inspired by a blog prompt: 5) Talk about a club from your childhood you belonged to.

STOMP STOMP, CLAP CLAP, HOWL

On Wednesday we flopped out of bed at 8am, got organized and hit the road in record time. After a brief stop at Grandpa and Grandma's to drop off the cat, we were on our way to Great Wolf Lodge in Niagara Falls, Ontario for the first time.

To say E was looking forward to the trip would have been an understatement. She had been counting down the days on her calendar since we'd first talked about going. I was also excited, but I didn't know what to expect. Luckily it didn't disappoint.

We arrived at GWL at around 2 o'clock. Walking in E was in awe. While was checked in, E played with an animatronic squirrel that was built into the counter. 

After dropping our bags in our room, we were off to explore the water park! E was given an orange bracelet which told us what parts of the park she was allowed to explore. This included 4 small water slides. She went down 3 of 4 but mostly used the smaller two slides, the wading pool area and the splash pad type areas. 

After a few hours in the water park we grabbed some dinner then at E's request went to cub club followed by bowling. E had never been bowling before and SHE LOVED IT! She would jump up and down when she'd knock down pins, she'd dance, shaking her little bum side to side, and give us high fives. It makes me smile just thinking about it. She's also a team player as she cheered me on, high fived my good shots and said "Good try Mom, try again next time!" when I knocked down only one or two pins.

Soon it was time for Story time in the lobby. After a brief show from the forest friends, they read two stories to the kids and then we were off to bed to prepare for a second day of a lot more fun. Highlights from our second day included Wolf Walk, the Forest Friends show, more water park adventures and eating gluten free pizza from Northwoods.

Since returning home E has been wearing her wolf ears and practising "STOMP STOMP, CLAP CLAP, HOWL" - The Great Wolf Lodge Howl. She had an amazing time and keeps asking if we can go back again next year.

I would definitely have to say our mini vacation was the most exciting "thing" I purchased this month.

Fired

Have you ever been fired?

I'm generally a fairly quiet person who obeys rules and works hard so it might surprise people to hear that I've been fired not once, but twice. This is the story of one of those times.

I got a summer job after my first year of college. It was at a movie theatre and I quickly found myself promoted from "Box office girl" to "Head box office girl" in a matter of a few months.  I worked really hard and I'd have to say I loved my job. 

Unfortunately it paid minimum wage and when I decided to take a year off school to work and find myself, I decided that I needed more money to survive so I asked for a raise. My boss said "no" so I started looking elsewhere.

After three interviews with Future Shop I was hired on as a customer service representative. To begin with it wasn't a great job but it wasn't awful either. I was a great cashier - fast and efficient and in general I do love helping people so customer service itself comes fairly easily most of the time. Unfortunately, in my opinion, management wasn't very good.  I had great attendance, and I never called in sick. 

On that fateful week everyone in the store had been sick with something. It was less than a week before Christmas and I had been working 50 hour weeks to cover other people because I was apparently too nice. I called in sick hours before my shift because, after a trip to the doctor, I found out I had strep throat. I could barely talk and was somewhat hallucinating with my 104F temperature when I told my boss, on the other end of the phone, that I wouldn't be making it in and exactly why. Imagine my surprise when she answered "Get in here for your shift or you're fired."

I should have said fine, fire me. Had I known what would happen hours later I would have, instead I answered in a meek, defeated voice "okay." 

Hours past and I was in the store starting my shift. My boss assigned me to work security which means to stand beside the exit doors and check bags if the alarm goes off. I begged her to reconsider. I told her I was too fevered and wouldn't be able to concentrate. I told her I needed to work cash because I knew cash like the back of my hand and it was steadily busy. She told me if I was too sick to work why did I come in. Funny.

About an hour into standing beside the door, the alarm sounded. I didn't hear it. Apparently it rang for some time before someone came over and released me from my dream state. Immediately my heart sank and I felt a lump rising in my throat. Everyone was staring at me. My manager walked over, fire in her eyes, "Didn't you hear that?! What were you doing just standing there?! The store manager wants to see you. Now!" 

Her and I walked to the back of the store, to the managers office. He sat there with a stern look on his face. "I want to show you something" he said. They made me watch a tape of the whole thing. I sat there with tears running down my cheeks. "Explain that to me?!" He said, angrily. He went on, not giving me time to answer. "What were you doing?! What were you thinking?! That person could have walked out of the store with expensive merchandise if your co-workers hadn't noticed and stepped in. We can't have this sort of thing happening. I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go. I'm sorry it has to be this way. Do you understand?" I didn't really but I remember nodding. "Your manager will escort you to the staff room so you can pick up your things before you leave. You will be paid for the remainder of your shift."

And that was it. Being incredibly ill I felt somewhat relieved that I could go home and go to bed. However, I was also feeling pretty low being fired four days before Christmas. Suffice to say I couldn't bear to walk into the store for a long time afterwards and I still prefer to buy electronics somewhere else.  

Inspired by prompt #2 - "Have you ever been fired?"

Things I've learned from being a mom

Before I became a mom I thought I knew a lot more about kids than I did. From that first night in the hospital, my husband and I struggling to change the worst diaper ever, it became somewhat obvious that we were in for a learning experience. So, although we continue to learn new things as parents daily, here's just a few of the things I've learned so far.

ONE - I can survive on less sleep than I ever thought was possible.
When our daughter was born she didn't sleep very well. For approximately two months she slept for 15 minute intervals at a time. Unfortunately I can't sleep that way so I would stay up until 7:00am, when my husband got home, in hopes that he could stay awake to take care of her for 2 to 4 hours so I could get some sleep. Had someone told me a person could function on that little sleep I wouldn't have believed them. I wouldn't say I functioned well but I stayed alive. lol. Luckily things got better!

TWO - Now at four years old she's balancing on a crack in the side walk. "Mama! Mama! look a bird! A squirrel! Oooh a puddle!" She jumps, water splashing, cascading tiny brown, muddy droplets all over my pant legs. I scowl for a moment thinking of the mess she just made, the work that has to be done at home and how slowly we seem to be moving towards home as she insists on stopping to look at every flower, every bird, and stomping in every puddle. Until I look at her face. Her eyes are sparkling and she grins from ear to ear. Pure joy. It is as if she has never seen a bird, puddle or leaf before. Everything is new and she is soaking in every ounce of it. She reminds me, in that moment, to stop and smell the roses, take time to appreciate the little things and enjoy God's creation.

THREE - There are always new things to learn.
With joy also comes curiosity and, with that, a myriad of questions. "Mama, how do my lungs work? How do you make crayons? How does the moon stay in the sky? Could it fall down? Etc, etc, everyday a new question or possibly four. Sometimes I know the answers, but often I'm thankful for Google. Together we'll scroll through search results to find the answer in a format she'll understand. Through this experience I have learned things I otherwise wouldn't know.

FOUR - You don't truly appreciate privacy until you don't have any.
Ask most moms and there's a good chance the issue of privacy will come up. Why on earth would I want to go to the bathroom alone?! Not to mention those few times when you decide to take a shower and you hear a loud crash and run out hair full of shampoo, in only a towel, heart racing a mile a minute to find your four year old perfectly fine, thank goodness, sitting on the floor playing and she says "Mama are you done your shower?! Wanna play with me now?! Why is there shampoo in your hair?"

FIVE - Laughter is the best medicine.
Like a lot of moms sometimes I find myself neglecting my own needs, and getting wound up with the stresses of life and everything that has to be done. At four our daughter makes up jokes, giggles at things that don't make sense or aren't really funny and although at times her antics can drive me crazy, it's hard at times not to laugh from the contagiousness of her laughter and then occasionally find yourself also making goofy faces leading to more laughter and stress relief.

SIX - I have a mini me.
I think the biggest thing I've learned is how much of an influence we, as parents, have on our children. Our daughter likes to learn from me and do what I'm doing. If I were to do yoga she would be trying to do the moves along side me; baking a cake? She's right there measuring ingredients and asking what the next step is. Our behaviours are often reflected in how our children behave. It's important that we have the same behavioural expectations of ourselves as we do them as they truly do learn by example.

This post was inspired by writing prompt 6 -  List 6 things you’ve learned from your oldest child.